


Choices, Choices

by AnneScriblerian



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Ficlet, Lucius Big Bang, Other, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-28
Updated: 2013-02-28
Packaged: 2017-12-03 22:26:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/703306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnneScriblerian/pseuds/AnneScriblerian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Lucius Big Bang, Severus feels a bit neglected.  This leads to several unusual proposals.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Choices, Choices

**Author's Note:**

> A response to the 2010 Lucius Big Bang, in which I participated and which I enjoyed thoroughly. Severus, however, was left out a bit. This is my response to this unaccountable neglect of our favorite.

Severus Snape was feeling peevish. You might think that this was the usual state of things, but you would be wrong. Since the war had ended and he had left Hogwarts, Severus had been rather content. Especially when he was brewing a challenging potion for a hefty commission, as he was at the moment.

When he pulled out a strand of veela hair to add to the cauldron, Severus suddenly realized what was bothering him. He stared at the hair for a long moment, and then he threw it into the cauldron with a snort of disgust. He couldn't believe that he was jealous of Lucius Malfoy.

There was no earthly reason why he should be jealous of his friend, lover, enemy, and ally. It verged on pettiness, an indulgence which Severus was trying to eschew in his retirement. It was Lucius's first time, after all. Severus had enjoyed and endured more literary celebrations than he could count on his fingers. Or his toes. Or his fingers and his toes. Surely Lucius deserved at least one Big Bang.

It was just that Lucius had enjoyed so much variety during the celebration. Not that Severus didn't love Harry. He did. But sometimes being subsumed into "Snarry" was a bit wearing. After all, he only got two letters whilst Harry got four! Well, he supposed they shared the "a," but that was hardly proof of the proud state of independence to which Severus aspired.

Severus was musing on the unfairness of it all when he heard a series of smart taps against his door. He muttered and placed a stasis charm on his potion. He had learned that the visitors who could actually find him were unlikely to give up on the threshold. That didn't mean he had to be cheerful about being interrupted.

Severus flung the door open and snapped, "What?!"

Hermione Granger-Weasley stood on his doorstep, chin raised defiantly. Her red-haired husband cowered behind her, unsuccessfully trying to hide his gangly self behind her trim body.

"We heard that you were wanting a bit of variety," Hermione stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

Damn third-person limited omniscient narrative combined with Apparition! He had only figured this out himself a few minutes ago.

Hermione ignored Severus's scowl and continued, "I had a lovely time at Lucius's Big Bang, so I thought you might enjoy being with me for a bit. And Ron was feeling left out..."

Ron Weasley popped out from behind his wife and protested, "I didn't mean Snape!"

"Hush, Ron. We already talked about how all that anger and supposed hatred is bound to lead to some rather explosive passion. That's why you agreed to come with me."

Ron's blush clashed unattractively with his hair. Not that Severus needed any more disincentive.

"Unfortunately neither of you are the least bit tempting. Thank you for your kind offer," he intensified his sneer, "but I am busy."

Then he slammed the door in their faces.

Severus had barely begun to lose himself in his brewing once more when there was a hesitant tap on his door. It was barely audible, and Severus was able to pretend that it had only been his imagination. But he couldn't ignore the voice that soon came lilting through the door.

"Professor? Well, not professor any more, I suppose. But wouldn't you still be called 'professor' by your former students, even though you aren't really..."

Severus threw open the door before Luna Lovegood could drive him as batty as she was. Neville Longbottom was standing defiantly beside her.

"There you are, sir!" The wretch actually sounded surprised to see him.

"Yes. This is, after all, my house."

"That it is. I've always wondered what sort of house you.."

"As lovely as this discussion of real estate is, I am quite busy."

Severus started to shut the door.

"Oh, sir. I'm sorry. We are here for more than just a chat."

Neville nodded in a manner that was evidently meant to be firm.

Luna continued, "You see, Neville feels that there is some unfinished business between you. I suggested it, actually, and he agreed that we should come here and offer to cheer you up a bit. Or to get revenge. I'm not quite sure which it would be, but we could certainly enjoy ourselves while we work it out."

Severus stared at the two idiots on his doorstep. He was at an uncharacteristic loss for words.

"I know you fancy blokes, sir. I don't know what Hermione was thinking. Though it was rather Gryffindorish of her to take the chance. But you see, I am quite good at using my mouth, and Neville here is a bloke, and we thought..."

Severus did not favor them with a response; he simply slammed the door in their faces. Then he doubled the wards. Then he thanked the gods that Lupin and Sirius were dead. And that Lucius was thoroughly shagged out. He wasn't sure how many bizarre propositions he could take in one day.

He gave up on brewing and sat himself down on the couch with a stiff drink. Then he heard the banging. He sighed in resignation as one by one, his wards were dismantled. It was no surprise who was causing all the racket. Only Potter was powerful enough--and uncouth enough--to completely disregard Severus's desire for privacy. When Severus couldn't stand the noise any longer, he suddenly dropped the last layer of wards. He smirked evilly when Harry fell through the suddenly open door and landed flat on his face on Severus's carpet. Draco stepped carefully over Harry's sprawled form and nodded politely at Severus.

Harry scrambled to his feet and burst into an explanation, "I know you want a bit of a break from me and a bit of a change but no one seemed to be appealing to you and I know that you enjoy Draco and we thought that together we could figure out some new ways to please you.."

Severus didn't wait for Harry to stop babbling. He took Draco by the hand and together they shoved Harry into Severus's bedroom.


End file.
